Monday, January 22, 2007

On How to Embarrass Yourself


I hardly ever take the subway. Only when the weather's really bad or when my bike's broken. The latter was the reason to go underground today.
It can be quite convenient this small world underground, if you need to fix your shoes or get a quick juice, for a time management freak like me anything that needs to be done that's on the route and for the grabs is a big plus!

The downside of taking the metro (I'm using as much synonyms as I can here...) is that I really don't know the way very well. Even after living here for about 9 years I still fuck it up. As long as I have a steady A and a steady B (as in: from A to B), it's fine, but as soon as they change on me I'm Alice in 'I'm Wondering where the hell this train goes to Land'.

Since I've got the new job, I've taken the subway 3 times (the weather's been really bad...)and I got on the wrong train 2 times!! Today wasn't the exception.

The funny thing is, that thís time I actually took time to think about my failures in the past and promised myself I'd get it right this time. So I drew an imaginary map of the roads on top of the tracks in my head. I distinguished the North from the South, the East from the West and made my decision.

THE WRONG ONE!!

The general direction was good, the line wasn't.

So when I got out at the next stop, crossed the tracks to go back and waited for the return train to come... I took some work out of my bag and started reading it. Might as well make myself useful while waiting, right?

After a few seconds some guy came towards me and stopped just a little bit to close in my 'comfort zone'.
(Hold your arms as a ballerina in front of you, your fingers touching each other. That's the general comfort zone of a Dutch person in the city, anyone that gets closer than that is considered either a very, very dear friend, or a freak.)
So I shuffled to the left. But about half a minute later another guy moved in 'the zone' on the other side (the side that I just shuffled to to get some more space).

All this zone-clogging wasn't necessary, there was plenty of room, but I returned to my reading and hoped the train would arrive fast.

Then, suddenly, I smelled a foul odour. Gosh, it was nasty... No way, they wouldn't... NO WAY!!
From underneath my eyelids and over the edge of my glasses I threw a quick look to one guy, nothing... and then to the next, nothing... I couldn't bélieve it, how can you let one pass and keep such a poker face... It's should be illegal!

That was the drop, I had enough.
I moved 6 big steps away and didn't care if it was obvious that I was walking away from them specifically. I was not going to take this. Whatéver!

The train came, I got in and it took about 4 seconds before I smelled that stanch again... 'Oh my god, what's going on here?!' It didn't make sense, the two guys were in another part of the train. It drifted off and I arrived at 'B'.

On the way up, to the light, to the fresh air, it hit me...
In my bag was a microwave steam diner with salmon and broccoli that had been there (unrefrigerated) for most of the day...

I was the skunk!
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I've finished my dark green simple slippersocks (pictures soon but they will be boring) and I'm working on the shrug made out of the Texel handspun and handdyed wool, a bit scratchy but be-au-ti-full!

4 comments:

knittingajour said...

HAHAHAAHAAHAHAHA, My dear Sas, you really made me laugh! You can write girl!
And a shrug, what a good idea!
If its "kriebelig" :
Wash it with soap from our woolgoeroe Y. or put it in the freezer. Hope to see you tuesday!

yvonnep said...

oh dear... prachtig verhaal. Zo herkenbaar. Zo heb ik een keer 'bloed' zitten lekken. Dat kwam door mijn tas heen en was van het ontdooiend hart voor mijn kat.
Genant. :-)

Tijm said...

Heb erg gelachen om je verhaal. Zag het helemaal voor me!!!
En wat weer prachtig beeldend beschreven!!!
Wanneer komt nu je eerste verhaal uit??


Prachtig foto's ook.

Rineke said...

geweldig verhaal! super geschreven!